Joanna: This is a little too much for me right now, Lucien. Sorry, but I'm going to have to say no.
Lucien: Will you at least tell me what I did wrong?
Joanna: Listen, I didn't say I would never marry you.
But my having a child doesn't mean all romance goes out the window.
I'm not saying you have to write vomit-inducing poetry, but at least try to woo me.
Lucien: In that case, I have something to show you. It's a good thing you're wearing a bathing suit.
You know, Lucien, I don't think breaking the sink and forcing her to fix it is what Joanna had in mind.
Nope, that's cool. Just chill in the tub. Don't help her at all. Whatever.
Let's just get to the Ludwig spam. I did warn you.
Look at this kid. LOOK AT HIM!
He's even cute when he's pouting. Joanna disagrees, obviously.
Joanna: Now say it with me: World dom-in-ation.
Joanna: You know, you're never going to get anywhere in life by looking cute.
The stress of motherhood sent Joanna into an insane episode.
Joanna: What did you say about my son?
Joanna: I'll have you know that he is receiving the best education any evil parent could ever hope for!
Joanna: You just wait. He will the climb the ranks in no time and you will be left to his mercy.
I forced Lucien to quit his job and become an author. I mean, he's a computer whiz and a genius.
He'll be a best-selling author in no time.
Winning the hearts of millions with the written word didn't stop him from teaching his son how to walk.
I suppose he needed something to distract him from Joanna strutting about the house in a wedding dress.
Lucien: I need you to help me out, little man.
Lucien: Your mother won't suspect a thing.
Joanna: What did you just say?
Joanna: Your father is clever. I'll give him that, at least.
Joanna: So, our son has a few new words in his repertoire. Would you happen to know anything about that?
Lucien: Well, the Rands are known for our intelligence and extensive vocabulary.
Joanna: You are unbelievable, but way too cute to be mad at.
What do you say to calling a babysitter and spending a day on the beach?
Lucien: Way ahead of you.
Joanna immediately heads to the bar shortly after their arrival.
Lucien: I can't help but think you're trying to make me forget about my proposal by filling me up with liquor.
Joanna: Two things. First, a Sex on the Beach is perfect for our trip.
Second, who are you to talk about manipulation when you tried to use our toddler son in your never-ending scheme to marry me?
Lucien: Are you deliberately keeping me away from the fire?
Joanna: Serves you right.
They eventually made it inside for more than a little TLC. However, their trip was cut short by a visit from the repoman.
Asshole took the couch. Have fun basking in the tears of innocent sim families, you sadistic jerk.
Lucien: I'm sorry, Jo. I spent my entire savings on that ring and completely forgot about the bills.
I know this was the last thing we needed.
Joanna: You know what? After tonight, I'm starting to think that marrying you wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all.
Besides, that couch was hideous anyway. If you're that upset though, I know of a way to lift your spirits.
Why are you reading a pregnancy book, Lucien? Do you know something I don't?
Ah. I saw that coming, despite the fact that my sound wasn't working and there was no way for me to hear the chimes.
With the arrival of another demon looming, it was time for Ludwig to age up.
Ludwig rolled Loves the Outdoors, and, in his haste to escape the crowded kitchen, immediately high-tailed it to the living room to eat his cake. This is where I realized I made a mistake in calling him a Lucien clone. He's a male Joanna. I swear I didn't make a mistake this time.
Lucien: Are those elf ears? How did he get those? Wait, does Joanna have elf ears?
I really don't understand how you could have knocked her up twice and not noticed them.
Then again, I suppose her ears were the last thing on your mind.
Puzzle: So I was like, "Yo, man. Can I get some creativity up in here? I mean, if we're going to be some kid's imaginary friend, we need to think of something else besides tag. We need something more hip, y'know?"
Ludwig: Kill me now. Please.
Not happening. Find something better to do.
I love this kid.
Ludwig: No, no. I will not hear any petitions today. A pox upon your house and higher taxes for everyone!
He eventually grew bored of playing pretend and decided to give the baker's stand a try.
Not going to lie, I made him do it for the cute faces. XD
Ludwig: What is this intoxicating aroma? Why, it's my muffins.
They're enough to make you want to reach into your pockets and fish out a fistful of twenties, aren't they?
This townie thought it would be best to lure in customers with some music.
Hipster townie: See that golden-haired vixen right there, kid? I'm hitting that.
Ludwig: Um. That's nice, I guess.
And then the funniest shit to ever happen in my game occured right on the front lawn. Observe:
Blonde Townie: Look what I got for you! *whips out flowers*
BT: You don't like my flowers? You ungrateful asshole!
BT: Hell naw! Fuck your flowers!
They did this over and over for a sim! hour before Joanna asked them to leave. It was hilarious.
Striped Shirt Townie: Do your parents know you're out here?
Ludwig: Do your parents know you're middle-aged and still dress like an infant?
Yes, they do. In fact, they encourage it because it teaches me financial responsibility.
SST: Well, then. I'll take four.
Ludwig: I made forty simoleons using a cheap toy oven. What now, Buddy Valastro?
With some help from his father, that is.
Ludwig: I don't want to watch this.
Joanna: Get over it. You need to see this at least once in your life.
Ludwig: That's what's going to happen to you? Jeez.
Ludwig: Try not to hurt Mom too much, ok?
Look at you being all cute, Ludwig.
Breaking the toilet, however, is the opposite of cute. Seven hells, kid.
(Yes, I realize the door clashes with the color scheme of the bathroom. But I care more about matching the living room. I don't have to look at the bathroom all the time.)
There better just be one in there, Jo. It's a good thing her baby daddy isn't a sim by kittenmittons.
Best way to induce labor? Convince your very pregnant mother to play tag!
It worked at least.
Well, at least we get an appropriate reaction from Lucien this time.
Ludwig: Oh god, this is not what I expect to see while coming out of the bathroom.
I don't need to see this, Mom! God, it's all over the floor. Dad, do something! Dad?
Ludwig: Phase one is complete.
Soon I will have a minion to boss around and fetch my dry-cleaning as I plot to take over the world.
Vladimir (you saw that coming) van der Marc, the evil artist, will not be fetching anything for awhile.
I leave you there. Hopefully I will be used to the textbar by the next update.